One Day At A Time
by DeanLittle67
Summary: After sixteen months, Rory receives news that will shake her reality. No Longer a One-shot. Rogan
1. Chapter 1

It had been sixteen months - sixteen long months - since he walked away from her. It had been sixteen months of crappy motel rooms and crappy coffee, of her wanting to call him every day, of the waves of reality not relenting like her mother had promised all that time ago. She'd thought sixteen months was nothing, that nothing would have changed, but everything had. She realized that as soon as she saw the picture and title at the top of her laptop screen. 'Huntzberger Heir Hits Rock Bottom' with a picture of Colin and Finn holding him up as they walked into a rehab facility.

It wasn't as if she didn't know what was going on in his life. She'd kept contact with Stephanie and Finn - Colin still wanting to blame her more than Logan. But the other two, they knew it was Logan who'd screwed up, who had pushed until they broke. Before she knew what she was doing, she was laying it out as it was.

"You were supposed to be there for him!" she practically yelled into the phone. "You were supposed to make sure he was okay!"

"Rory," the Australian on the other line said. She could hear it in his voice that he was tired and worn out. "You don't think I tried. I was the one who dragged him out of the bars every night. I was the one who helped him with his hangovers until he decided he'd rather be drunk than in a hungover state. You think I was bad in college? Logan became a thousand times worse than I ever was." She heard him start to become angry. "I was the one who walked into his apartment to see broken glass and bottles strewn about! I was the one who found him passed out on the bathroom floor, and the one who took him to the hospital to have his stomach pumped! I was the one who had to call Honor to tell her that her baby brother was in the hospital! I was the one who went back to the apartment to clean up for him, only to find his Black Card stained white next to a line of cocaine!"

"Finn," she said softly. Obviously, she didn't know these details. She didn't know the small things in his life. She'd only been clued into the bigger ones: he started sleeping around again, he was drunk half the time, he sold his share in the company, he sold the house, he moved back to Hartford to work for his father. She didn't know anything else until Finn told her in that moment of pain.

"You weren't the one to tell him he was killing himself, Rory." His voice had softened, and she could hear he was about to break. "You gotta move on. He didn't, love."

"You know better than that, Finn," she responded to his last comment. "I went on one date that ended with me crying on his shoulder. I've been working my ass off the last sixteen months, drowning myself in my work. He decided to drown himself in booze. I regret letting him walk away that day, but I made my bed and I laid in it. He chose to run from it."

"I know you're in town," he told her. He wasn't wrong. She was in Hartford for her mom's wedding that had occurred that day. "I'm visiting him tomorrow. I think you should come." He gave her the address, and she wrote it down.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Finn." With that, she hung up and looked at the piece of paper. If she went, she knew she wouldn't be able to walk away again. She wouldn't be able to tell him goodbye again. A part of her knew she wanted that, knew she wanted to be with him. However, the other part knew that this wasn't the same Logan she'd fallen in love with and wasn't the same one who walked away that day. This Logan was broken and defeated, and she didn't know if she could see him like that. She didn't know if she would be able to see the shell of the man she loved.

The next morning, she woke up to the sound of her alarm clock. Slowly, she opened her eyes to the sun pouring through the curtains of the hotel she was staying at. This was it. This was the day she saw him again, and she didn't know what was worse. Was it seeing him or was it walking away? She knew she wouldn't be able to stay, wouldn't be able to be there for him since she had to go back on the campaign trail. Her life didn't end at Logan Huntzberger, and she was damned if she would give up this job just because he screwed his life up. She sighed before standing and getting dressed, grabbing the piece of paper and walking out to hail a taxi.

The driver pulled up outside of the building. It didn't look like she would have imagined it. It wasn't sterile or ominous. It actually looked inviting. She paid the man before stepping out and walking over to Finn who was standing on the sidewalk, looking up at the building.

"Hey," she said softly as he enveloped her in a hug. She reciprocated before pulling away and looking at him. "Let's do this." She wanted to take his hand in hers, to be sure he wasn't going to leave. At the same time, she knew better than that. Finn wouldn't be the one to leave, she would.

"We're here to see Logan Huntzberger. Finn Rothschild," he told the receptionist. She knew this was one of the places where your name had to be on the list to see the patients. "And guest." Money could buy you anything, but not happiness.

He lead her through the door to the common room. She had found out he'd been there for a week. How had it taken a week for her to learn this? Why didn't Finn call sooner? She knew all these questions were only a distraction to try and delay what was about to come.

It took a minute of scanning the room before she saw him. He was wearing jeans and a Yale sweater. Even from this distance, she could see the stubble forming across his face, the dark circles under his eyes. His legs were bouncing up and down while his arms were crossed across his chest. He looked so small, so broken. She looked away, looking at Finn who still looked at him. A wave of emotions flashed across his face, and she knew it hurt him to see his best friend this way. She knew that they both knew it should be Finn in that spot, not Logan. Finn was the alcoholic afterall.

It took another minute for Finn to move from his spot, and she followed closely behind as they neared him. He didn't look up, staring at the floor. His eyes were glassy. God, he wasn't the same.

"Hey, man," Finn said, sitting next to him. He still didn't look up. "I brought someone I thought you'd like to see. Don't worry, it's not your father. Honor made sure to blacklist him," he said with a small laugh. Logan still didn't look up. She wasn't sure if it was the withdrawal or if it was because Finn was practically the one who told Logan he had to get sober.

"Hi," she said softly. For a moment, she thought he was going to look up at her. For an even briefer moment, she thought she saw him at least glance. His legs halted before returning to their alternating bouncing. "I miss you." Three words she thought she'd never say to him, and the three that finally made him react.

"You don't get to miss me." She shouldn't have been shocked, but she was. She wanted to believe he would have been more receptive. But she'd turned down his proposal, she'd let him walk away. But she didn't blame herself. He gave her the ultimatum. He walked away. She just tried to continue living her life.

"Logan," Finn said almost harsh. "Let her say what she needs to say." It was just like Finn to know more than he let on. It was how it always was in college. He was drunk a majority of the time, but not to where he wasn't receptive. In fact, it was the running joke that drunk Finn knew more than sober anybody.

"You could have called, Logan. I wish you would have. This isn't who you are. You're smart and caring and a damn good businessman. When you sold your share of the company and went back to your father, I wanted to tear you a new one. But I knew it wasn't my place. When I found out you went back to being Logan Huntzberger the playboy, I wanted to call, but it wasn't my place. But I draw the line here, Logan. It's my place to get angry about this. In all the years I've known you, I've seen you high once. This isn't who you are. I know I didn't call, but the phone works both ways." The unspoken 'I love you' was there, and she hoped he knew it.

"Why didn't you? It's always been your place to call me and tell me how much I've fucked up. I admit it. I fucked up!" he practically yelled. "I walked away from the best thing I had, so I dealt with it the best way I could! To try and forget it!" He still refused to look up, still in the same position. So, she did the only thing that made sense. She got down on his level, on her knees in front of him looking at him and him looking at her. She saw the hurt in his eyes, saw all the masked emotions. Her hands rested on his knees, planting his feet on the ground.

"Logan," she said softly.

"You're actually here," he replied. "This isn't me finally losing my mind?" She smiled sadly. She knew a mixture of alcohol and cocaine could cause hallucinations, and it pained her that he thought she was one. It made her wonder how many times he thought she was with him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Finn walk away.

"I'm here. And I'm not leaving. We're going to take this one day at a time. Together." After seeing him, she knew she couldn't go back to those motel rooms and the bus and the horrible excuse for coffee. She knew this is where she belonged, that she belonged with him all along.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn looked at the two from across the room. He thought it best to give them some space, knowing there were things that needed to be said. He looked at his friend, a wave of nausea crashing over him. All he could think of was that day. It seemed like yesterday, but he knew better. He knew it had been nearly two weeks.

" _Logan!" he called out, turning on the light to the apartment. He could smell the alcohol in the air. He should have known Logan would be drinking this early, it had been the case for a while now. "Come on man, you know we had plans today." He walked further into the apartment when he felt a crunch under his foot. Looking down, he saw he was stepping on broken glass. He looked around the room, a bottle of Jack sitting next to the wall half empty, broken glass strewn across the room, more empty bottles. What he didn't see was Logan, which worried him more than the empty bottles._

" _Logan," he called out again as he walked into the bedroom. Logan was laying on the ground next to the bed, face down. A bottle of Ben Nevis laid next to him, empty. He knew Logan had most likely drank it in one sitting, which made him worry as he rolled him on his back. He could feel a pulse, but his breathing was shallow._

He pulled himself from the thoughts of that day, looking back at his two friends. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but he saw a change in Logan. He was looking at her, leaning towards her with a small smile on his face. He wished they weren't in this building though. He wished their reunion was more than this, wasn't fueled by Logan's addictions. But Finn realized something. Logan was more addicted to Rory than anything else, and this was his hit of that drug. Finn would rather fuel his Rory addiction than let him drown himself in his others.

" _Honor," he said shakily into the phone. He looked into the room, seeing the hospital staff emptying the contents of his friend's stomach. He could see them physically recoil, most likely from the stench of alcohol permeating the room. "It's Logan."_

" _What about Logan?" she asked. He had filled her in on her brother's drinking problems, but this was far beyond that. "Finn, what happened?" He couldn't bring himself to tell her. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he failed Logan, letting himself almost kill himself in an attempt to drown his pain._

" _He's at Hartford Medical. I found him," he held back the emotions that threatened to pour out. "I found him unconscious. They're pumping his stomach. Honor, he's killing himself." She didn't respond, the phone line going dead. He sat in the waiting room for another hour before she ran in, Josh at her side. He could tell she'd been crying._

Rory stood from her position in front of him, moving to the chair next to him - the chair Finn had been sitting in just minutes before. Logan's legs were still bouncing, but his arms weren't folded across his chest. He was looking at her like she was his world, like nothing had changed in the past sixteen months. But everything had. He knew that and he knew Rory knew that, but he didn't know if Logan knew that. He didn't know if Logan understood everything that was going on.

 _He made his way into the apartment, looking around. Just hours earlier, he'd found Logan unconscious, now he was cleaning up. He thought back to all the times Logan had helped him into his own bed, had cleaned up after him, had helped him with his hangover. Their roles should be reversed, it should be him in that hospital bed, not Logan. He knew it would take a while to clean up this mess, to get this place somewhat decent._

 _Rather than delving into work right away, he sat on the couch and looked around. His eyes landed on the coffee table. There sat Logan's Black Card, something that never left his wallet unless he was spending it. He could see the white powder coating its edges. It took a minute before it finally clicked in his mind, his eyes moving a little further away from the card to the line of cocaine prepared on the table. A hundred dollar bill had been rolled and taped, sitting next to the line._

 _He mentally slapped himself. He should have seen this, he should have seen the signs. But he didn't, and he can't pretend that he did. He stood up, walking out of the apartment, out of Logan's personal Hell._

Rory finally stood, walking away from Logan and back to Finn. He looked between her and Logan, seeing a smile on his friend's face for the first time. "I see things went well," he said, hugging her.

"Yeah. I'm going to call Hugo and get him to get another reporter to cover the campaign trail. He needs me right now." In his head, he mocked her. She didn't know what Logan needed. Logan didn't even know what Logan needed, but he also knew that her being there would motivate Logan to get better. That's what mattered. "I told him I'd be back tomorrow."

"I'll tell Honor to approve you for the visitor list." She just smiled at him. He was glad she was back, but he felt like it was a matter of time before she left again. He wanted to protect his friend, but at what cost.

" _You need help," he told Logan as soon as he stepped foot in the hospital room. "Cocaine, Huntz, really?" He was practically yelling. "I've stood by you with every stupid thing you ever did! But this… This has gone too far. Sinking the yacht, jumping off a cliff, those were things to make us feel alive, Logan! Cocaine is completely different!"_

" _How, Finn?" His voice was deadpan. He just looked at him, but not really. It felt more like Logan looking through him. "It's the same rush. It's the same feeling every time. The feeling of your heart racing, of thinking to yourself that this is what it means to be alive. Isn't that the point of everything we did at Yale? To feel alive?"_

" _It was the Life and Death Brigade, not the Trying to Kill Yourself Brigade! You're killing yourself, and I'm not going to stand by and watch anymore. You need help. Honor knows this, so we've set it up. As soon as you're out of here, you're going to rehab. You're going to get yourself straightened out." God, he needed a drink._

" _Stop being so hypocritical, Finn. We all know you've been a borderline alcoholic for as long as we've known you." He knew he was right, but this wasn't the time to pick a fight. Instead, he walked out of the hospital room, not looking back._


End file.
